Boxing Day Bliss

Americans don't really celebrate Boxing Day, but in the rest of the English-speaking world, including Australia, it is a public holiday. Just like Christmas Day in the US, virtually nothing is open and no one is working. We decided to go for a hike.

Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park lies along the coast and borders the northern end of the Sydney metro area. The Park's website describes it best:

Ku-ring-gai Chase National Park is where the Hawkesbury River meets the sea: a tight cluster of secretive, winding creeks, sheltered beaches, hidden coves and wide expanses of deep blue water. You'll find heathlands on the sandstone ridges, dense forests on the slopes, and mangroves on the tidal mudflats.

This wonderful little gem is less than an hour from downtown Sydney:

And we had it all to ourselves for quite some time. That's probably due to the fact that there are heaps (as they say here) of great beaches in the area that don't require a steep hike to reach.

On the hike, I was really struck by the foreignness of the vegetation and the landscape. It was a good reminder of just how far from home we are.

One thing was similar to home, though. Play this brief (20 sec) video and you will hear how loud the cicadas are, something I'm well-familiar with from my time in the South. You will also notice that the trees have been burned by, but survived, a forest fire. These burns were probably from the big fires that swept through Ku-ring-gai Chase in 1994. Apparently, these trees are adapted to survive forest fires. Pretty cool. We could benefit from those in the Northwest.

But the highlight of the trip was definitely this fella.

He was near the trail as we approached, but he scrambled up the tree when we were about 30 meters out -- scaring the living hell out of me. He stayed on the tree, which was only about 10 meters off the trail, as we passed by. He stayed perfectly still, but followed us with his eyes as we passed. I thought it was very good of him to stay so still and allow us to pass with his back to us.

Isn't he well-camouflaged on that tree? I can only imagine what Salem and Lola's reaction would have been.

He (or she) is a Lace Monitor (or Goanna), about average size at approximately 4 feet long. They are, of course, native to Australia. They are not aggressive toward humans, but they do have a venomous bite. They mostly eat Australian Brushturkey eggs and carrion. They are smaller cousins to the Komodo Dragon and one of many species of monitor lizards here.

Very cool.

Your sacrifice was not in vain, mate

And it is not forgotten.

A couple of weeks ago, we were walking through Hyde Park on our way to the Australian Museum when we happened upon the ANZAC Memorial. Its a small but stately building that commemorates the sacrifices of Australia and New Zealand's soldiers and sailors, especially in the two world wars. It is so named because these men and women were once joined in a single force known as the Australia and New Zealand Army Corps.

We decided to go in and look around. The Memorial includes several exhibits focused on several wars. It may surprise some Americans to learn that in addition to fighting in World Wars I and II, Australians fought in the Korean War, Vietnam War, Persian Gulf War, and America's Iraq War and Afghanistan War, among others.

The exhibits were extremely moving for me. They (mostly) depicted the experiences of specific, named Australian men before they went to war, while they were at war, and after they returned from war. They included specific objects kept by these men, such as biscuit tins that held cherished photographs, playing cards, cigarettes, etc. There were also original letters written by these men to mothers and wives and other family members back home.

When reading the letters, you could sense the mens' awareness that they might never see their loved ones again. You could tell they had no idea what might come next and knew that they could be killed at any moment, yet they went to great lengths to convince their family members not to worry and that they were confident things would turn out OK. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to write such letters over and over again while surrounded by the terror and inhumanity of combat.

These letters were heartbreaking. And they were put into context by photos that showed the men lying wounded after their assault on hardened Turkish machine gun batteries (in WW I), or as they sat as living skeletons, starved by the Japanese while they worked as slave laborers in a POW camp (WW II). The evil of war and the magnitude of the sacrifice has never been more real for me.

And the sacrifice was made even more stark by the photos and depictions of the land they left. Australia was an idyllic place in, for example, 1939. These young men worked hard in the fields sowing wheat and shearing sheep and picking apples. They learned everything from the classics to how to fix a car. On Friday nights, they drove into town to take their sweethearts to dances. They looked after their mum and dad and sis, grateful for all they'd been given. And they had a chance to buy a piece of land and to start a family of their own, or move to the big city and help build the modern Australian nation.

Basically, this was not a life or a place you would want to leave. But these men gave up everything because they believed in the cause. And I'm sure I don't have to explain why I sometimes look around and wonder whether we are collectively worthy of all that sacrifice. Will we squander what they built?

And I was wondering that very thing while standing in the ANZAC Memorial when I started talking with the gentleman behind the desk. He was a veteran of the Korean War. Astutely observing my age (and my buzzed hair), he asked me whether I had served in the Persian Gulf War. I was immediately taken back to the fall of 1990, when I turned 18 and the news of Iraq's invasion of Kuwait was greeted with hysteria in the American media. As America's "wimp president" prepared the nation for war, the TV pundits were saying things like we might lose 40,000 troops in the initial ground assault and we might need to reinstate the draft.

I was the prime age to be sent to the Middle East to spill my blood to ensure the stable flow of oil to the West, and I was frightened. Would I have to leave college? Was this war necessary? Was it just? If asked/ordered, would I go? Fortunately, I never had to answer that most important question.

All of that fear, anxiety, and uncertainty came back to my mind, and I suddenly realized that this man was awaiting my response to his question.

"No," I said. "No, I've never had to go to war. And I am extremely thankful for that.

I will always remember why.

Oz news

There are lots of strange, interesting things going on in and around Australia. Just to give you a littla flava of my day, here's a randomly-selected sample of news items that caught my eye this morning:

• A large saltwater crocodile named Elvis who lives at a reptile park north of Sydney has the staff "all shook up" (get it?) after he charged two workers and -- I'm not making this up -- stole their lawnmower. They're going to try to lure him away with "roo meat" and steal back the lawnmower. Good luck with that. There has to be a fat Elvis joke in there somewhere, right?
• According to the Sydney Morning Herald, local residents of the rugged northern New South Wales tablelands are "fast gaining a grudging admiration" for (alleged) rapist-murderer Malcolm Naden because he has successfully evaded a large police manhunt for over 6 years. Equally stupid NSW police admit they are unlikely to catch Naden any time soon, since he he is an Aboriginal bushman who "knows the bush like the back of his [raping, murdering] hand." Apparently, he's surviving on bush tucker, which is an awesome Australian thing even though it can be used to sustain a raping murdering rapist-murderer. Whatever, I'll kick that bastard square in the nuts and claim the $250,000 bounty for myself. You know, if I happen to be out that way.
• Also at the Sydney Morning Herald, you can take a poll -- without any context or explanation of the choices whatsoever -- on whether, over the next decade, the US "will continue to fall from power" or will "regain its place as the world's greatest superpower." Most participants seem to think we will "continue to fall." Whatever, Australia, we'll kick you in the nuts.
• Australia's "top end," the northernmost part of the Northern Territory, has been "cut off" from the rest of the nation's transportation system by torrential flooding from Tropical Cyclone Grant. Bummer, mate. I been there (metaphorically).
• Indonesian police killed three people on Saturday when they opened fire on anti-mining protestors at an Australian-owned mine on the Indonesian island of Sumbawa. This has prompted the mining company to stop mining operations, which seems to be the real reason this made the news. The police now graciously admit that shooting protestors was "an overreaction." That's far closer to an apology or admission of misconduct than you'll get from American police doing the work of the 1%, but at least the US police only use pepper spray (so far).
• After installing a single speed camera on the Mitchell Freeway in Western Australia, police caught 20,000 speeders in the first month. Holy crap, that will slow you down. They also confiscated the cars of three kids who were caught drag racing. And that will stop you altogether. It's a similar story here in New South Wales, where a rural highway south of Sydney has yielded over 1,000 speeding citations since Christmas Eve. And an "L-plater" (similar to a US driver with a learning permit) had her driving license revoked (no drive for you!) after being clocked at 146kph (about 90mph). The PSA we heard on the radio the other day featured an emergency room physician who asked, "This holiday weekend, would you rather take your time getting to your destination, or drive through the night to get the best camping spot and roll your vehicle, crushing your daughter's skull?" Well, since you put it that way....
• Finally, remember the Hamburgler? Well, Australia has one too!

Laissez le bon temps roulez

It has not been unusual over the past few years for me to be the only Saints fan in a bar while watching a game. Today the Australians were all focused on their cricket match with India, and I was the only one in the whole place even watching football.

No matter, because Drew did it! Time to party.

Warm Christmas

Pretty chill Christmas here. Great weather.

On Christmas eve, we went swimming in the MacCallum Pool, which is a saltwater swimming pool on the shore in Sydney Harbour in the Cremorne Reserve, a city park on a nearby peninsula. These rockpools are common in Sydney, as they warm up the water a bit and allow you to swim without dealing with rip tides or sharks.

And we followed that up with a trip to Manly beach, where I enjoyed a pilsner from the Blue Tongue Brewery. (That's named after the locally-common blue-tongued skink, in case you were wondering.)

Cheers. I hope your Christmas was as nice as ours...

Anti-hangover spray

Deodorant that also cures your hangover? Someone is going to get rich. I just couldn't bring myself to fall for this, so I don't suppose I'll ever know if it works.

Another head-scratcher.

Little things: Car names

Australia has almost all the same car brands as the US, with the notable exception that GM cars are referred to as Holdens. That's because Holden was the first and only Australian car manufacturer and was later purchased by GM. So the name was retained, and Holdens are still manufactured and built in Australia. Holden uses a lot of the same model names as GM. For example, here the compact truck Chevy Colorado is the Holden Colorado. 

Other manufacturers also use many of the same model names. For example, the Ford Ranger is the same, as is the Toyota Celica.

But some are different. My rig, the Toyota Tacoma, is known here as the Toyota Hillux (pronounced hi-lux). 

The rental car we have been driving since our arrival is a compact Nissan model known as the Tiida. I'm not sure how you say it, but it really does have a double i. So, "tee-da," I guess. I know this model is not sold in the US under that name.

My personal favorite has to be the Diahatsu Applause.

Somehow, I doubt that car could do anything that would make me want to applaud. I don't even remember any US Diahatsu model names, so I'm not sure if these were ever in the US.

Why do they do this? This is one of those head-scratchers.

AAAHHHHGGGG!!! Part 2

Yes, the price for a six-pack of Corona really is A$21. Which is about US$21.

What the hell, you ask. Is this Mexican piss water some sort of exotic delicacy in Australia? Nope. All bottled beer costs about this much, or a little more. A draught pint in a pub is about $7.

So, yes, I will soon be broke. Send money, mom.

My kind of meat pie

Om nom nom.

What is the best in life?

Man, I can't wait until Monday night. That is all.

I'm a very good driver

Like the Rainman, yo.

I drove for the first time in Australia yesterday, extending my unblemished driving record to a third continent. I went northward through downtown Sydney, out to the western suburbs on the M2 motorway, and back to Kirribilli on the M2. Most of that featured pretty heavy city and holiday traffic, and there was rain off and on, so I'm thinking I have handled about the worst Australia can throw at me.

No issues, except for occasionally signaling my turns by engaging the windshield wipers.

The speed limits can be ridiculously low, which helps if you're a noob. For example, the construction zone speed limit on the M2 is 60km/hr, which is about 37mph. We all know nobody actually goes 45mph in the construction zones on the interstate highways in the US, but here you are actually forced (by speed cameras) to go 37mph through the construction zones. It's painful. And I'm not even sure how it's safer for these guys when they're four lanes over behind concrete barriers anyway. But since the M2 will be perpetually under construction for the remainder of my natural life, I'm going to have to get used to it.

Also, Wapner's on at 4.

Cosmic, man

Dear readers, I know all of you do not click on all the links I embed in my posts. Perhaps you are reading at work, or perhaps I'm just not that interesting. It matters not.

But there is one link I embedded in a previous post that is a must-click, so I want to point it out here.

In addition to being the blog's namesake, this is the most cosmic, early-80s-kitch music video you will ever see. You can even see it in the bemused looks on the lads' faces at the end of the video. And I implore you to make it all the way to the end, because you cannot miss the lads roasting snags on the barbie in zero gravity.

Pure awesomeness from the greatest decade and the world's greatest band.

And as a bonus, here's a more homey video of the Oils playing right on the water somewhere in the inner Harbour. Beautiful. Complete with Peter Garrett at full spasticity and Rob Hirst in a pink jumper (really)! I could have ridden my bike to this concert if I weren't about 25 years too damn late getting here!

Announcing the Heaps-Martini Heaps o' Martinis New Year's Eve Bash

That's right, there will be heaps o' martinis at the Heaps-Martini household on New Year's Eve. Gin, Vodka, up, rocks, wet, dry, or my personal favorite, dirty. You name it, we got it -- even Reno Martinis. Shaken, stirred, however you like 'em.

Hosted by MC Squared and featuring Senior Mixologist DJ C spinning beats and mixing drinks. Special appearance by Brigette, who will look pretty in a nice dress and provide engaging conversation.

We have even arranged for two -- count 'em, two -- fireworks shows. The first begins at 9pm, with the grand finale at midnight. So, pace yourself. The fireworks shows can be viewed around the corner at the park, or, I'm guessing, from the verandah.

Tell yer friends!

Just six days until the big day

Christmas? Boxing Day? Am I merely bad at math, you wonder?

No, I'm talking about next Tuesday -- or Monday, in the US. You see, something amazing, something historic, will happen that day.

The great Drew Brees is a mere 305 yards away from setting the single-season NFL passing yardage record that has stood for nearly 30 years. I am secure enough with my advanced age (39) to admit that I remember the 1984 season when Dan Marino, Mark "Super" Duper, and Mark Clayton took the entire Miami Dolphins team on their shoulders and scorched their competition for 5,084 yards through the air. Marino had a cannon, and they sure were fun to watch.

I watched a lot of Dolphins games that year partly because I had a good buddy who was a 'Fins fan and partly because the Saints were so bad that they were painful to watch. It was that way for year after year after miserable year for Saints fans. The Saints were so bad that when ESPN named the "worst sports franchises" in history, we didn't even make the list. You needed to watch some other teams just to remind yourself that football could be fun.

But the Aints are no more. As long as I live, I will never forget the Miracle in Miami. And it is impossible to explain just what the Saints and that championship mean to the people of New Orleans and the rest of the Gulf Coast region. Let's just say we deserved it.

And Marino's record is about to be no more. Ironically, the Saints and Drew Brees remain the Rodney Dangerfield of football, with little national media attention or respect despite what will soon be mathematically ensconced as the best single season by a quarterback in NFL history. And that will most likely happen next Monday night when the Saints play the Atlanta Falcons in the Superdome on Monday Night Football.

If you've continued reading this far, you have probably surmised that this means a lot to me. I watched these guys for over 20 years before they even made the playoffs, ever faithful. And since Sean Payton and Drew Brees and the crew came along, they have continued to be a bright spot for me -- like so many others -- through hard times.

As I said in my first post, I am trying hard to open myself to Australian life and culture on this journey. I am going to make an effort to learn Australian rules football, rugby, and cricket. But the Saints are something I won't leave behind. After all, this is all about having the best of both worlds, right?

I'm grateful to be able to watch live next week from the Kirribilli Hotel. If you're in Sydney, please join me. And if you're fellow Saints fans elsewhere, know that I'll be representing the Who Dats down under.

Free meat!

Apparently the Australians have a fine tradition of raffling off meat platters to patrons in the pubs. Why do Australians hold meat lotteries in bars, you ask? I have no idea whatsoever. All I know is that Australians love their meat. And I think we can all agree that it's an awesome tradition.

I just happened to be down at the Kirribilli Hotel (aka pub) watching Monday Night Football tonight when, along with my pint, I received these:

And then, several minutes later, over the PA system I heard the magic words, "Green 49." I lept to my feet and shouted, "I want meat!"

I was immediately cautioned by a nearby Aussie, "I wouldn't say that in an Australian pub, mate."

"I'm sorry," I replied, "This is my first meat raffle."

And she's a beauty, eh?

AAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, that was in my car last night. And in my suitcase.

Because we each brought three suitcases with us to Australia, we left some of the stuff that we don't need everyday at Brigette's office until we found a place to live. Now, this is an office building. Not a barn or an abandoned warehouse or something. An office.

And yesterday, we decided to bring that stuff to our new apartment. So Brigette put the suitcases in the car, and that was the first thing I saw when I opened the trunk to unload them. I guess it had stowed away in the suitcase and gone on the ride with our stuff.

Then, hilarity ensued. Knowing that we would never be able to set foot in the car again if we did not find the spider, we carefully unloaded the suitcases onto the sidewalk. Luckily, it was on one of them. We proceeded to chase it around and around the suitcase for about five minutes, leaping backward as it came at us, until eventually Brigette was able to get it off the suitcase with a piece of paper. Once it was on the ground, I stomped it.

I am still totally freaked out by this. This thing was nearly the size of my hand. I'm looking under or in everything from now on before touching it.

I think it was a huntsman spider (aka "Australian tarantula), based on the size, color, and hairy legs. That would be "good," since those are essentially harmless -- though, it must be said, no less terrifying.

But it also may have been a Sydney funnel-web spider, which means it could have fucking killed me. Or my wife, who seems to have rode in a car with it for over 30 minutes.

Hell, I don't know. But anyway, Jesus H. Christ. I may never sleep again.

The sky is falling!

We had some showers yesterday morning, and after a sunny midday we had a full-on thunderstorm in the late afternoon. It's sunny right now (noon local time) but intermittent showers are forecast today and for the next four days, so the whining has begun again. The Sydney Morning Herald has the full weather story, complete with the hilarious headline, "Whatever you do, don't look up."

Again, to give you some perspective, the high is 74F today, the low is 65F, and it's mostly sunny. In (the equivalent of) May.

Yesterday evening, I walked down the street in the rain to pick up a pizza. People miserably trudging along huddled under umbrellas were astonished to see me merrily walking down the street in a ballcap, a light rain jacket, and shorts. I wanted to grab them by the collar and say, "I lived in Seattle, man! We didn't see the sky for months! We once had over five inches of rain in one day! One day!!"


OK, no more posts about the weather for a while.

Egregiously bad bicycle infrastructure

During my ride through North Sydney today, I followed the bikeway signs to a beautifully wide and green-painted bicycle lane which, unbelievably, led me onto the fucking M2 motorway!! Imagine riding your bike on I-5 through downtown Seattle.

After a few hundred meters, the bikeway sign abruptly announced I could go no further and should proceed by crossing six lanes of motor vehicle traffic going full speed around a curve on approach to the Harbour Bridge. This was supposed to be accomplished without any sign warning of my presence for the drivers hurtling along at 60 mph.

I politely declined this gracious invitation. Instead, I dismounted and headed for some steps that appeared to go up to the overpass. I reached the top -- about 50 stairs in all -- only to find that they went nowhere! That's right, the sidewalk (or "footpath," as it's known here) on the overpass was fenced off.

Seriously, WTF, Sydney!?

That's my worst experience yet on the bike, but there are some other pretty shitty aspects to biking here. First, the bikeway signage is terrible. It has huge gaps and I guess you're just expected to know where to go next. Naturally, when there are no signs, I just proceed straight-on. Makes sense, right? Not in Sydney. You're supposed to telepathically know where the turns are.

Also, I knew right away that I would need the official city bicycle map to get around in such a big and geographically-complex place. So I picked one up as soon as I arrived, only to find that the North Shore doesn't even exist as far as the map is concerned. There is simply no mention of it even being part of the city. When I inquired (or "enquired," as they say) about this, I was told there is a second map for the North Shore. It took me nearly a week to find it. Even the guy at the North Sydney Council office had to rummage around in a drawer before he was able to produce one.

Finally, adding insult to injury, the maps (both, actually) are inaccurate in several locations. And this matters lots when it's the difference between a street with a bike lane and the fucking M2 motorway. In fact, the stupid map is how I ended up on the damn motorway in the first place.

In case you're wondering, I threw my bike over the fence and then climbed over -- much to the horror of the Chinese ladies pushing strollers along the sidewalk.

Sydney, this is TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE for a city of your stature. I know you have a grand plan and some good infrastructure in a few places (i.e., a few dedicated cycletracks that don't connect to anything), but it's not enough. We are going to have to do something about this. Fortunately, I'm equipped for such a task. And perhaps more fortunately, I am a seasoned urban cyclist, and will handle anything your roads can throw my way. I doubt anyone who's less confident on a bike would want to ride around Sydney!

/rant

Our new place is DOPE

After moving from neighborhood to neighborhood during our first week in Sydney -- so that I could get the flava of the place -- we settled on Kirribilli. Kirribilli is a Sydney neighborhood on the north shore of Sydney Harbour (officially, Port Jackson) right at the northern base of the "coat hanger" (Sydney Harbour Bridge).

Although Australians call Sydney's neighborhoods "suburbs," Kirribilli is definitely not suburban. We are right in the heart of a very dynamic central-city neighborhood. We are less than 100 meters from great stuff -- restaurants, cafes, pubs, etc. I've already got a new favorite pizza joint, Pizza Rio, which is run by a funny and friendly little Italian guy whom I enjoy joking around with.

It's also a short walk to the end of the peninsula, with in-your-face views of the iconic Sydney Opera House, downtown, and the harbor. To wit:

Despite the intervening water, we are very close to downtown. It is a short and amazingly picturesque walk or ride across the bridge. And we have a train station nearby. On Saturday, we confirmed that the train will get us into downtown in like 15 minutes when we visited the amazing Australian Museum. The trains will also take us pretty much everywhere else in greater Sydney, including the Blue Mountains.

Our place itself is in an historic brick building at 39 Fitzroy St. We are in #2, just like Jeter (don't hate). It is fully furnished, so we saved ourselves some money on buying more stuff. It's one bedroom and one bath, with a second bed-ish room that I am using for an office and where we will put up guests. (When ya coming?). The kitchen and living room are both really big, and we have a small outdoor terrace that is a great place for reading (or writing blogs).

This is the urban living I loved in Seattle and Portland. I will have to try hard not to let this great crib keep me from seeing everything else on the continent!

Safer roadways

Believe it or not, driving on the other side of the road is actually not the biggest difference between driving in the US and Australia. No, the biggest difference lies with transportation policy. Driving is much safer here because instead of ignoring major safety problems as has the US, the Australians have taken a proactive approach to preventing problems on the roadways. This system is much more to my liking. Here are some major improvements:

Red-light and speed cameras are ubiquitous here. Red-light cameras are not at every intersection, but you cannot make a practice of streaming through red lights for seconds after they change the way everyone does in, say, Reno. The speed cameras are put at locations on highways where speeding is most dangerous, such as when approaching the entrance to a tunnel. And there is always a sign to warn you that you are approaching a camera, so it's pretty fair.

Perhaps best of all, not every moron with a pulse gets to keep a driver license -- which seems to be the rule in the US. Here, you get "demerit points" (kinda like prep school) for doing stupid things like running a red light, and there is real teeth to the system -- you get your license suspended or revoked for a few violations. Get caught driving without a license and you're going to jail -- again, unlike in the US.

Also, high-risk drivers are given special driving licenses that are denoted on the license plates themselves so that everyone on the road knows who they are. "P-platers," as they are called, are people with probationary licenses. Here's what they look like:

P plates come with certain restrictions, like perhaps you're know allowed to exceed 90km/h when driving. In that case, the P plate will include the number so a police officer would know if they were violating the speed restriction.

There are also "L plates," which stands for "learner" (not "loser"). L platers are not allowed to drive during certain hours or have others under 18 in the car with them, etc.

On the whole, it makes for a system where far fewer people per capita are injured or killed on the roads. And despite the extra restrictions, that seems worth the trouble. Most people do not realize that about 42,000 Americans are killed by drivers each year. In my humble opinion, that's way too many.

Transportation planning is far ahead of America as well. When highways fill up with commuters, the Australians build rail lines and expand bus service instead of adding more lanes and waiting a few years for gridlock to resume. New highways are paid for by the users (via tolls), avoiding penalties on those of of us who make more sustainable transportation choices.

On the other hand, in America we're real good at war.

A big thing: Driving

Driving in Australia is like a mirror image of driving in the US. You drive on the left side of the road, and the driver's side of the car is the right side (i.e., the steering wheel is on the right). So left turns are like right turns in the US and right turns are like left turns in the US. And when you have more than one travel lane, the right lane is the passing lane.

As you might expect, this leads people who are used to driving on the right to do certain things backwards. Although I took the above photo while sitting behind the wheel of our rental car, I actually haven't tried driving yet. Doing things backwards might just be a bit annoying in other circumstances, but it's pretty dangerous when driving.

When I tried driving in England (another left-driving country) some time ago, I found that I tended to forget about the whole opposite side thing if there weren't any other cars around and I would instinctively drift to the right. I did not hit anyone, but this has led me to let Brigette do all our driving so far given her more recent experience with left-side driving (here).

The change has definitely taken some getting used-to. I have gone to the passenger side of the car several times now, only to find myself on the driver's side. And it has been funny to watch Brigette flip the windshield wipers on when she means to signal a turn -- those respective controls are also on the opposite side of the steering wheel.

The problems manifest themselves when you're walking around as well. You do not realize this, but when you step off a curb you instinctively look left because that is the direction of oncoming traffic in the closest lane. You may think you always look right also, but you don't. I can tell you that for certain because I thought I always looked right also and I consider myself a very careful pedestrian, but a few times I almost walked in front of oncoming vehicles. The most embarrassing one was at the airport right after I got off the plane. I nearly got hit by a bus (though the bus driver was being pretty aggressive). This is such a problem for foreign tourists here that the government has painted signs at crosswalks that say "LOOK RIGHT."

But the worst seems to be when approaching intersections in the car. I instinctively expect Brigette to turn onto the closest lane when we are making a right and to cross over to the far lane when we are making a left. This is my biggest fear when driving -- finding myself going the wrong way down a street because I made a US left (or right) instead of an Australian left (or right). It is going to take constant attention when driving for some time to overcome this pitfall.

But I have been riding my bike on the roads a bit over the last few days and after some time in the car it is starting to feel more natural, so I think I am ready to try driving. Wish me luck!

And by the way, Brigette has been doing a great job despite my back-seat driving and occasional freak outs.

It's the little things

It really is the little differences between countries that fascinate me. I always find myself noticing random little differences and wondering, "Why did they do it that way?"

For instance, Australians are, as the Dude would say, really "into the whole brevity thing." The best example is "arvo," which Australians say instead of "afternoon." I say, "instead of" because that really is not an abbreviation.

Another example is the signs for timed on-street parking. Here they simply say, for instance, "2P" for two-hour parking. That seems easier than spelling out "2-HOUR PARKING," as we do. But it's a little thing, and perhaps some would say it's not as easy to understand as our more explicit signs. Anyway, some times they've got it figured out better than us, and sometimes I'm left scratching my head.

So I thought I'd share a few things I noticed here in my first week. If I keep seeing things, I'll probably keep posting on this theme, since, as I say, these things provide endless amusement and fascination for me.

This is probably my favorite Australia-US difference. This is a typical menu at a cafe. For some reason that remains a mystery to me, the Australians have completely re-invented the names of coffee drinks. No one has ever heard of my favorite drink, the Americano. As Vincent said in Pulp Fiction, "They don't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is." But in this case I don't think it has anything to do with the metric system.

And they actually do have the Americano. In Australia, it is known as a "Long Black." My wife's experience in Australia saved me considerable embarrassment when ordering coffee on my first morning here.

FYI, the "Flat White" is similar to a latte but has more milk (Brigette's drink), and the "Short Black" is similar to an Americano but has fewer espresso shots.

Here's another one:

As most people know, the electrical outlets are a different voltage here. And in Australia, the two main prongs on the plug are set at an angle instead of being parallel to one another like ours. I'm sure this is at least partly to idiot-proof things so that Americans cannot inadvertently fry their electronics.

So if you bring electrical things down under, you must buy a converter to use them. And the whole contraption looks like this:

That's my laptop plug. And here's the outlet:

Notice the switch. It turns power to the outlet on and off, which is nice if you want to prevent vampire electronics from spending your money. And notice the handy dot, which tells you whether you're on or off. I love it.

The great irony to all this is that the only electronic thing I brought here (save my phone) is the laptop. And laptops convert incoming current to DC anyway -- that's done by the box on the power cord -- so there is no risk in frying your computer. This led Brigette's colleague Peter, trying to use his US-bought laptop in Australia, to the hilarious DIY solution of using pliers to bend the prongs on the plug into the correct orientation for the American outlet. No converter necessary!

"Shit" weather

That seems to be the consensus here in Sydney. The La Nina-Southern Oscillation is bringing Sydney, New South Wales, and the rest of southeastern Australia its wettest Spring in some time. We had a neat-o thunderstorm Sunday afternoon, the kind I haven't seen since living in the US South. It gave Brigette a good soaking as she returned from the grocery store. And we had rain for a few hours again today as well.

December is the equivalent of May in the Northern Hemisphere and Sydneysiders are NOT happy about what they see as a delayed start to their summer. Here are the facts: Today's high, and the projected high for the rest of the week is 21C. That's 70F. Today's low, and again the projected low for the rest of the week, is about 16C. That's 61F. And the chance of rain today, tomorrow, and for most of the rest of the week is 40%.

Not exactly the worst weather in the world. And yet I have never heard so much whining (or "winging," in the local parlance) about weather. Good thing these folks don't live in the Pacific Northwest, eh?

I come from the future

According to United Airlines, the flying distance from San Francisco to Sydney is 7,432 miles. More relevant for me, the flying time was about 14 hours. But it felt more like 14 days. It was the longest flight of my life to-date, and it gave new meaning to my understanding of the term “jet lag.” I am exhausted. I am fighting right now just to stay awake until sundown only so I don’t make matters worse for myself.

Despite the huge distance, Sydney and the US West Coast have only a six-hour time difference. How so? Sydney is actually 18 hours ahead. I left San Francisco on the evening of Wednesday, December 7 and arrived the next morning … on Friday, December 9. I completely forfeited Thursday, December 8. I’m curious, how was it? Please leave me a comment and let me know.

The consolation to all this is that I am now – as far as you are concerned – living in the future. For you, it’s tomorrow where I am. So free feel to call or email if you would like to know what tomorrow is like. We can probably make a ton of money betting on sports and stuff.

A new start?

April 4, 1975 is a landmark date for me. It is the date I first set foot in the United States. That historic event took place at John F. Kennedy International Airport in Queens, New York. I was a wee toddler at the time, but the date (if not the experience itself) has remained significant for me because of what it represents. My family was seeking to pursue the American Dream, as do so many others arriving in New York City.

Nearly 40 years later, I feel like I have lived the American Dream during my time in the United States. I do not mean to suggest I have achieved the economic security and independence of which we all dream. I most certainly have not. But I have lived pretty well. I have gotten a world-class education (two, actually), made some great friends, done good work that I am proud of, and finally met and married the love of my life. Along the way,  I have had ample time and sufficient money to enjoy excellent recreation and travel and lots of other fun things and good times. I've even been able to splurge occasionally on some of the "finer things."

I really cannot complain about my life in the United States. But I am not blind to what is happening to America. I have had worked extremely hard for less income and wealth than the generation before me. Greed and corporatism have made a mockery of our democracy and of the American Dream. America’s progress is reversing. It is now easier for a hard working immigrant such as myself to enter the middle class in the “socialist nightmare” of Europe than it is in the United States.

So perhaps today, December 7, 2011, will be another landmark date for me. Today is the day I leave for an extended stay in Australia. As I await my flight at the San Francisco International Airport, I am still not sure whether I will be a vacationer, a short-term worker, or an immigrant. It will, in part, depend on what opportunities I find down under and the speed of the economic recovery in the Pacific Northwest. But it will also depend on what I find in the people and places of the Great South Land. I will open myself to it and enjoy the experience. I will decide later. For now, I have the best of both worlds.