Oz news

There are lots of strange, interesting things going on in and around Australia. Just to give you a littla flava of my day, here's a randomly-selected sample of news items that caught my eye this morning:

• A large saltwater crocodile named Elvis who lives at a reptile park north of Sydney has the staff "all shook up" (get it?) after he charged two workers and -- I'm not making this up -- stole their lawnmower. They're going to try to lure him away with "roo meat" and steal back the lawnmower. Good luck with that. There has to be a fat Elvis joke in there somewhere, right?
• According to the Sydney Morning Herald, local residents of the rugged northern New South Wales tablelands are "fast gaining a grudging admiration" for (alleged) rapist-murderer Malcolm Naden because he has successfully evaded a large police manhunt for over 6 years. Equally stupid NSW police admit they are unlikely to catch Naden any time soon, since he he is an Aboriginal bushman who "knows the bush like the back of his [raping, murdering] hand." Apparently, he's surviving on bush tucker, which is an awesome Australian thing even though it can be used to sustain a raping murdering rapist-murderer. Whatever, I'll kick that bastard square in the nuts and claim the $250,000 bounty for myself. You know, if I happen to be out that way.
• Also at the Sydney Morning Herald, you can take a poll -- without any context or explanation of the choices whatsoever -- on whether, over the next decade, the US "will continue to fall from power" or will "regain its place as the world's greatest superpower." Most participants seem to think we will "continue to fall." Whatever, Australia, we'll kick you in the nuts.
• Australia's "top end," the northernmost part of the Northern Territory, has been "cut off" from the rest of the nation's transportation system by torrential flooding from Tropical Cyclone Grant. Bummer, mate. I been there (metaphorically).
• Indonesian police killed three people on Saturday when they opened fire on anti-mining protestors at an Australian-owned mine on the Indonesian island of Sumbawa. This has prompted the mining company to stop mining operations, which seems to be the real reason this made the news. The police now graciously admit that shooting protestors was "an overreaction." That's far closer to an apology or admission of misconduct than you'll get from American police doing the work of the 1%, but at least the US police only use pepper spray (so far).
• After installing a single speed camera on the Mitchell Freeway in Western Australia, police caught 20,000 speeders in the first month. Holy crap, that will slow you down. They also confiscated the cars of three kids who were caught drag racing. And that will stop you altogether. It's a similar story here in New South Wales, where a rural highway south of Sydney has yielded over 1,000 speeding citations since Christmas Eve. And an "L-plater" (similar to a US driver with a learning permit) had her driving license revoked (no drive for you!) after being clocked at 146kph (about 90mph). The PSA we heard on the radio the other day featured an emergency room physician who asked, "This holiday weekend, would you rather take your time getting to your destination, or drive through the night to get the best camping spot and roll your vehicle, crushing your daughter's skull?" Well, since you put it that way....
• Finally, remember the Hamburgler? Well, Australia has one too!