AAAAAHHHHHHHGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah, that was in my car last night. And in my suitcase.

Because we each brought three suitcases with us to Australia, we left some of the stuff that we don't need everyday at Brigette's office until we found a place to live. Now, this is an office building. Not a barn or an abandoned warehouse or something. An office.

And yesterday, we decided to bring that stuff to our new apartment. So Brigette put the suitcases in the car, and that was the first thing I saw when I opened the trunk to unload them. I guess it had stowed away in the suitcase and gone on the ride with our stuff.

Then, hilarity ensued. Knowing that we would never be able to set foot in the car again if we did not find the spider, we carefully unloaded the suitcases onto the sidewalk. Luckily, it was on one of them. We proceeded to chase it around and around the suitcase for about five minutes, leaping backward as it came at us, until eventually Brigette was able to get it off the suitcase with a piece of paper. Once it was on the ground, I stomped it.

I am still totally freaked out by this. This thing was nearly the size of my hand. I'm looking under or in everything from now on before touching it.

I think it was a huntsman spider (aka "Australian tarantula), based on the size, color, and hairy legs. That would be "good," since those are essentially harmless -- though, it must be said, no less terrifying.

But it also may have been a Sydney funnel-web spider, which means it could have fucking killed me. Or my wife, who seems to have rode in a car with it for over 30 minutes.

Hell, I don't know. But anyway, Jesus H. Christ. I may never sleep again.